When You’re At Your Worst Is When You Realize How Good You Have It

I’ve been sick for over a month now. What started out as a bad case of vertigo turned out to be mastoiditis. which really is just a super wicked inner ear infection but it’s in the bones of skull. It sucks, it’s so rarely seen now most ENT’s don’t even treat it, and it takes forever to get rid of. It can get so bad that you might require surgery. Which means they drill holes in your skull to get rid of the infection. Let’s just say I’m hoping this won’t happen cause … hello who want’s holes drilled in their skull?

Through all of this I haven’t been able to do much. I can’t drive because of the vertigo. I tend to fall down a lot cause of the vertigo so I have what every 39-year-old wants a sexy shower chair. I’ve been running at least a low-grade fever the whole time so I feel oh so great cause of that. I’m in constant pain because of inflammation. Oh and I am now coughing my head off and relying way too much on my inhaler. So in a nutshell life has been sucking. I can’t do 98% of the stuff I normally do because of it all and that gets to me.

I was close to having an absolute emotional break down making more doctor’s appointments this morning. Texting with the hubs and on the phone with my ex trying to coordinate rides to all these damn appointments. I finally let myself just have a good cry because well I feel like shit and I wanted to cry. I then thought about how good I actually have it. Between the hubs, my ex, and my sister I’ve been able to go to every appointment I need to. My kids have been taken care of both times I’ve been admitted to the hospital. I’ve been able to run a few errands like a normal person here and there. All because of the three of them. While yes, I know that’s what you do for family and I would do the same for each of them. I do hope they know just how much it means to me that whatever it is its covered. They are all  going to think I’ve taken my pain killers and I’m just getting smooshy. I’m not going to lie , I did do a couple loads of laundry and washed the dishes so yeah I am medicated. But I still think they all need to know how much it means to me that I can count on them.